Seconds please...

As my brothers, dad, and I were walking through Bannister Mall about 25 years ago my dad says “OK boys, who wants a cookie?”  My brothers aptly answer with an in-unison “I do”.  I, being the youngest, ask “Can I have two?”  As you can imagine my brothers immediately looked at me with ire and flames in their eyes as my dad replied “I guess since your brother thinks he should have two then everyone will have NONE.”  Oh crap!!  Both my brothers leaned over toward me and stick their fists in my gut.  They were so mad.  I ruined their chance of having a piece of Mrs. Field’s mall cookie heaven in their grasp.  Of course I begged and begged that my dad change his mind if for no other reason so that I could live to see the next day.  My dad held firm.  I still have never lived it down.

As you can tell, no matter the bruises that were induced, my brothers let me live.  They gave me a second chance.  Second chances are how we grow.  I learned in a quick moment of cookie loss that I should stop asking for more than what is provided.  Several years later my dad asked a similar question and my answer was quite different and we all got to enjoy a treat.  My dad knew that the second chance that he could provide would mean more to me now than ever.

As I grew older and into my teen years I started to lose my appreciation for the small things in life (like a cookie or an ice cream cone) and started taking advantage of my parents and my education.  I went off to a local community college and halfway through my second semester I dropped out.  I began to work full time; I moved into an apartment with some buddies and started down the road to life-with-nothing.  I began to run with the wrong guys and smoke and drink the wrong things.  My life was headed down the road that I never thought I would get off of.  It didn’t take but a few months to realize that the choices that I had made had landed me deep in despair and without relationships.  I had broken a lot of ties with family, I had no money to pay for gas to get to work and I just flat lost.  I mustered up some courage to ask for some help from my parents.  I think they were a little reluctant but just wanted me to be “okay” again.  I asked my dad to allow me to close the lease on my apartment and kick my so-called-buddies out.  It left me with a hefty payout and a $1600 phone sex bill that my roommates racked up as I was staying closer to work.  It all was in my name.  I paid out over the course of the next 3-6 months over $3000 to my dad for bailing my out of the situation.  I moved back in with my parents and paid minimal rent while continuing to work and give every dime I made to my parents for the payoff.

I got my act together and asked my parents what my options were if I went back to school.  At this time they informed me that I could go back to the community college where I started and work my way toward going to MidAmerica Nazarene University.  That is what I needed.  I needed a chance.  No matter how long it took, I was in for the haul.  I needed my life back.

Just a few days after the New Year my mom came and offered me the chance to go to MNU without having to prove myself.  She had given me a second chance.  I did not have to prove myself and I was given grace.  I can’t explain why, they just gave it to me.  I think that parents know, sometimes, when their kids need a second chance.

So whether you learn from an incident like the cookie debacle and get a second chance to redeem yourself to make the family happy or you fall on your face in life and those around you pick you up and with lots of grace push you to get going again remember; in life we need second chances.  Offer second chances to those around you and ask for second chances when you need them.