Am I A Good Parent?

Have you ever wondered what it is like to consider yourself a “good parent”?  Most of us wander our days in a flustered state of crazy, unending chaos starting with waking up on time to get the kids dressed and clean enough to put on a façade to the rest of the world as we juggle school, church, school programs and fundraisers, soccer, art, doctors appointments, and more soccer.  We sit down at the end of the day frustrated that we haven’t caught up with life, that we don’t spend enough time with our kids, or can’t handle our own kids behaviors much less someone else’s kids, and that life “just isn’t fun anymore”. 

Do you ever wonder how you are doing?  Or do you just sit back and assume you are no different than any other crazy, running around like a chicken with their head cutoff parent.  Maybe you aren’t even a parent but worry what it will look like someday.  Well, as most of you know my wife and I are going thru some Adoptive/Foster Care classes and it has really put some things into perspective for me.  I am a better parent than I thought I was.  As I sit and relationship build (talk) with friends around me or share what is going on in my life I tend to share struggles or ideas of how I/others could improve our lives with our kids.  What has come at me lately has been people telling me “You are a good parent” or “that is a great idea” or even most recently a friend came to me and said she brags to her mother about the great ideas that I have and how much she respects my way of parenting.  It means so much to me that others see that in me.  It is encouraging to hear that from others.  Sometimes it is so hard to believe. 

Now I wonder, if others see me as a good parent then what is it that keeps me from seeing it?  Am I good parent because I am firm, fair and consistent?  Is it because I am doing my best to bring up my girls to be believers in themselves and to trust in God during the good and bad?  Is it because my wife and I share all things in honesty with our children (sometimes even the gruesome details) and prepare them for the world that seems as though it is out to get them?  Maybe because I show them love beyond their beauty and intellect.  Possibly people see a passion for “rightness” in my heart.  I do know this…regardless of all of these things that people tell me I do so right I think the answer is back to the beginning of this post.  Is it because I am constantly wondering if I am a good parent?   Because I can juggle life at its hairiest?  Because I care about how well I parent?  Most of all I think it’s because I know I am not perfect.  I recognize that I “can’t” sometimes.  Or that “it’s hard”.  There is a certain humility that we, as parents, go though.  We need each other. We need encouraging words when things seem to “suck”.  We need ideas and support. 

Don’t just settle for being the parent you think everyone else is.  Be the parent that strives to be better.  Don’t give up when things get hard.  Don’t run away and seek “fun”.  Love, be firm, and face the facts.  None of us are perfect.